Prisoners Without Bars - a caregiver's tale
|
This heart-wrenching and triumphant love story is a tale of advocacy and caregiving. Donna's husband, David, stumbled into their bedroom, his hand covering a blood-filled eye from a brain hemorrhage.
Donna called 9-1-1. David slipped into a coma. At that moment, Donna was thrust onto the path of caregiver for her best friend and the love of her life. In her debut memoir, Donna shares how a neurosurgeon said that David would make a "great organ donor." She writes of arrogant doctors, uncaring visitors, insensitive ambulance drivers, and problematic nurses. She also tells of the many compassionate doctors, nurses, therapists, staff, strangers, family members, and friends who helped them on their journey. Donna compellingly describes her ability to appear positive as she experiences the horror of making life-or-death decisions. As her world crashes, she credits laughter as her lifesaver. More than fifteen years later, Donna and David are living a "new normal" together. |
|
|
|
|
|
Reviews
Most stories about tragedies or medical journeys focus on the patient, Donna O’Donnell Figurski’s Prisoners without Bars: a caregiver’s tale is such a compelling read because it looks at traumatic brain injury through the caregiver’s lens. I related to so much of what Donna describes―from the low moments of despair to celebrating the small and large victories.”
― Lee Woodruff, caregiver and author with Bob Woodruff of In an Instant: A Family’s Journey of Love and Healing
― Lee Woodruff, caregiver and author with Bob Woodruff of In an Instant: A Family’s Journey of Love and Healing
Prisoners without Bars author, Donna O’Donnell Figurski, unabashedly asks, “How was my vibrant, so-smart husband reduced to this?” when her husband, a respected Columbia professor with a PhD in molecular biology, struggled with the simplest of daily activities after his cerebellar hemorrhage. Her book is a testament to the importance of patient advocacy after brain injury, and their story of reinvention and resilience is a testament to the healing power of love.
- Rosemary Rawlins, caregiver for her husband, Hugh, who has a brain injury; author of Learning by Accident; editor for BrainLine
- Rosemary Rawlins, caregiver for her husband, Hugh, who has a brain injury; author of Learning by Accident; editor for BrainLine
Tragedy struck—tears—heartache—change. A poignant and detailed account is provided from the very onset of an aneurysm’s rupture in Donna O’Donnell Figurski’s husband, David. Donna describes the gamut of emotions that a caregiver feels when his or her loved one sustains a brain injury: agony to elation, terror to peaceful hope, acceptance.
Every survivor and caregiver should read this poignant and detailed step-by-step account of the true and very real experiences encountered with a brain injury. The tests, diagnoses, and treatments are all presented as part of the story and then explained in easy-to-understand layman’s terms. A myriad of information on brain injury is also woven into the story in an interesting yet realistic fashion.
Divorce often occurs in a marriage faced with a brain injury crisis. Donna did not leave nor run away from the pain, fear, and anguish. She faced the challenges that she and her “soulmate” … “best friend in the world” … “the love of her life” faced. Together they turned what some might consider a tragedy into helping others learn more about brain injury and learning to live with the changes that do occur.
In Donna’s own words: “Whatever occurs, David and I will make the best of it and expect to enjoy every minute of it—together.” Read Prisoners without Bars: A Caregiver’s Tale to learn how a “positive attitude is crucial to recovery” and that failure and giving up are just not options.
- Ann Boriskie, TBI survivor, Director and Founder of Brain Injury Peer Visitor Association
Every survivor and caregiver should read this poignant and detailed step-by-step account of the true and very real experiences encountered with a brain injury. The tests, diagnoses, and treatments are all presented as part of the story and then explained in easy-to-understand layman’s terms. A myriad of information on brain injury is also woven into the story in an interesting yet realistic fashion.
Divorce often occurs in a marriage faced with a brain injury crisis. Donna did not leave nor run away from the pain, fear, and anguish. She faced the challenges that she and her “soulmate” … “best friend in the world” … “the love of her life” faced. Together they turned what some might consider a tragedy into helping others learn more about brain injury and learning to live with the changes that do occur.
In Donna’s own words: “Whatever occurs, David and I will make the best of it and expect to enjoy every minute of it—together.” Read Prisoners without Bars: A Caregiver’s Tale to learn how a “positive attitude is crucial to recovery” and that failure and giving up are just not options.
- Ann Boriskie, TBI survivor, Director and Founder of Brain Injury Peer Visitor Association
Donna O’Donnell Figurski’s story is a true expression of dedication not only to her husband, but to herself as well. She clearly demonstrates the emotional roller coaster we caregivers go through in our journeys from the beginning of the injury to our new life. This is a must read for those who want to gain understanding of a caregiver’s ongoing journey or for a caregiver starting out and desiring to gain the strength to keep moving forward. As a fellow caregiver, our journeys are each unique—but our mission and drive are similar. Donna’s passion for caregivers and brain injury is felt in the pages of her book and in the life she leads.
- Jeannette Davidson-Mayer, caregiver for her husband, DeWayne, who has a brain injury; Dole Caregiver Fellow
- Jeannette Davidson-Mayer, caregiver for her husband, DeWayne, who has a brain injury; Dole Caregiver Fellow
After reading Prisoners without Bars: A Caregiver’s Tale, I knew what I had to say. This eloquent memoir is relatable to so many families, not only to those dealing with TBI, but also to those dealing with health tragedies in general—and to anyone who interacts with the medical system. Not only is it a story that will have you hold your breath, cry, laugh, and cheer . . . but it is also a guide for all of us in dealing with life-changing events.
Donna and David are relentless in love, courage, and drive. Together, they have pushed through the mistaken boundaries set by others. If you have ever had the honor to know them or have read this book, your life will be changed forever.
- Terryn Davis, Occupational Therapist
Donna and David are relentless in love, courage, and drive. Together, they have pushed through the mistaken boundaries set by others. If you have ever had the honor to know them or have read this book, your life will be changed forever.
- Terryn Davis, Occupational Therapist
In my darkest days, I was praying I would meet someone like Donna who understood the life of being a caregiver for a brain-damaged husband. It’s not an easy task. Donna has been a great teacher and example for me. I appreciate her zeal for knowledge and her helping others through their hardships. The brain-damage world is such a mystery to many. I appreciate Donna for all she does to help educate others.
- Cyndy Feasel, former caregiver for her husband, deceased former Seattle Seahawks lineman Grant Feasel, who suffered from a brain injury; author of After the Cheering Stops
- Cyndy Feasel, former caregiver for her husband, deceased former Seattle Seahawks lineman Grant Feasel, who suffered from a brain injury; author of After the Cheering Stops
Donna’s narrative explains traumatic brain injury and its multiple destructive tentacles, while showing us the power of love, dedication, and persistence in overcoming them.
- From the Foreword by Michael Kailas, MD, neurologist
- From the Foreword by Michael Kailas, MD, neurologist
This is a remarkable accounting of a catastrophe. The story shows how a traumatic brain injury changed the trajectory of the lives of two astonishing people: David Figurski, a world-renowned scientist, and Donna O’Donnell Figurski, a nationally recognized teacher and author—and David’s wife. In this time of turmoil and suspicion, this book describes the generosity of spirit that defines us as human. Why is it that David and Donna received such universal support from family; bureaucracies, like Honiss School and Columbia University; friends; friends of friends; and colleagues? The simple answer is that these two people represent the best of us.
The book details the events that occurred when an articulate, vibrant microbiologist at Columbia University suddenly suffers a traumatic brain injury. It reveals that after three weeks in a comatose state, David slowly begins to reconstruct his life and continues to do his research.
Donna describes her feelings as devoted wife and best friend—and now caregiver for her lifelong partner. She reveals her terror, hopes, and the concessions demanded by the tragedy.
If you or anyone you know has faced physical or emotional challenges that could change your life, this book is a must-read. It tells us how love, friendship, and optimism can overcome the most tragic events.
- Daniel H. Fine, DMD
Professor and Chair, Department of Oral Biology
Director, Center for Oral Infectious Diseases
Rutgers School of Dental Medicine
Senior Associate Dean
Graduate School of Biomedical Sciences
Rutgers University
The book details the events that occurred when an articulate, vibrant microbiologist at Columbia University suddenly suffers a traumatic brain injury. It reveals that after three weeks in a comatose state, David slowly begins to reconstruct his life and continues to do his research.
Donna describes her feelings as devoted wife and best friend—and now caregiver for her lifelong partner. She reveals her terror, hopes, and the concessions demanded by the tragedy.
If you or anyone you know has faced physical or emotional challenges that could change your life, this book is a must-read. It tells us how love, friendship, and optimism can overcome the most tragic events.
- Daniel H. Fine, DMD
Professor and Chair, Department of Oral Biology
Director, Center for Oral Infectious Diseases
Rutgers School of Dental Medicine
Senior Associate Dean
Graduate School of Biomedical Sciences
Rutgers University